Gillian Anderson Opens Up About Her Early Relationships With Women

Gillian Anderson is opening up about her early relationships with women and the confusion she felt growing up without the language to describe her feelings.

The “X-Files” star recently recalled one of her first relationships, which was with an older girl during high school. Anderson said the relationship felt secretive because they believed they had to hide it.

“It felt secretive and illicit and wrong and we had to hide,” Anderson told the Sunday Times. She said a boyfriend later discovered the relationship and ended things with her.

Despite her experiences with women, Anderson said she did not think of herself as gay at the time. She had also dated men and said she did not have the words to understand or explain her sexuality.

“Even later on when I had other relationships [with women] I’m not sure I ever thought of them as being potentially forever,” she said.

Anderson, now 58, also reflected on how her views about relationships have changed over the years. She said the person she considers her life partner is a man, but she believes she would feel the same way if that person were a woman.

“The person I consider my life partner happens to be male, but I think I would feel the same way if it were a woman,” she said. “I’d feel, ‘This is my life partner.’”

Looking back, Anderson said she once viewed relationships with women differently, partly because of how she understood relationships when she was younger.

“When I was younger, there were parts of my brain that thought [women] were temporary,” she explained.

The actress also spoke about her rebellious teenage years. She recalled going to gay bars and dancing at age 12 using a fake ID. Anderson said she and her mother later had difficult conversations about boundaries and what behavior was acceptable.

She also revealed that she entered a relationship with a much older man when she was 15. He was 24, and Anderson said they remained together for three years.

In a 2012 interview with Out magazine, Anderson had previously discussed her high school relationship with a girl. She described herself at the time as rebellious and said her relationships, appearance and behavior often shocked the people around her.

Anderson has been married twice, first to “The X-Files” assistant art director Clyde Klotz from 1994 to 1997 and later to documentary filmmaker Julian Ozanne from 2004 to 2006. She has three children: daughter Piper with Klotz, and sons Oscar and Felix with former partner Mark Griffiths.

Her latest comments offer a candid look at how her understanding of love and relationships has evolved over time, and how difficult it can be to define those feelings when you are young and still trying to understand yourself.