Domino Kirke Opens Up About Pregnancy Loss and the Cost of Always Caring for Others

Singer and doula Domino Kirke is sharing the painful story of her pregnancy losses in the hope that other caregivers will feel less alone.

Kirke, who is married to actor Penn Badgley, revealed in a deeply personal Instagram post that she once went to support another woman through childbirth just days after experiencing her own second-trimester miscarriage.

“It was insane to go be there for someone else while I was still bleeding after my own loss,” Kirke wrote. But at the time, putting other people’s needs ahead of her own felt normal.

Kirke said caring for others had been a coping strategy since childhood. While it helped her survive difficult experiences when she was young, she realized as an adult that the same habit was hurting her.

“I always overrode my own needs,” she explained.

The emotional toll became especially painful after she and Badgley suffered two miscarriages in a row. Kirke said the losses put enormous strain on their marriage.

“My marriage was falling apart because this was our second miscarriage in a row,” she wrote.

The couple, who married in 2017, later welcomed their first son in October 2020.

In 2025, Kirke was surprised to discover she was pregnant with spontaneous identical twins. The twins were born in August 2025, bringing a joyful new chapter to the family.

Her earlier pregnancy loss also inspired her music. Kirke said she wrote her song “Mercy” after undergoing a difficult dilation and curettage (D&C) procedure to remove remaining placental tissue following her miscarriage.

After the procedure, she returned home to recover for a few days before sitting down at the piano. Soon afterward, she went back to her work as a doula and supported another person through childbirth—while she was still bleeding herself.

Kirke admitted that she did not allow herself to properly grieve for months. Her emotions finally caught up with her while she was teaching a doula training class.

She said she had to leave the class and quietly sob in the bathroom—the first time she had fully allowed herself to mourn since the procedure.

Now, Kirke wants other caregivers to learn from her experience.

She is launching an online community focused on helping caregivers process their own trauma, set healthier boundaries and avoid burnout. The program includes a workbook and a nine-week course beginning October 6.

Kirke says recognizing unhealthy patterns is only the first step.

“It takes an adult to admit insane behavior,” she wrote. “It takes repetition to learn new ways of being.”

Through her story, Kirke is turning a deeply painful chapter of her life into an opportunity to help others understand that caring for themselves is not selfish—it is necessary.